Tuesday, November 26, 2013

little humans

Little humans require a lot of attention.

I have 2 of the middle size models myself.    My journey started 10 years ago.  I was in between college classes, met a boy and poof.. my life changed forever.
The past 10 years are now a blur... I have forgotten about the sleepless nights and the hard aches of a fetus kicking my bladder.   Now, I am brought back to that time.
Not because I am "Prego", " expecting", "with child", "got a bun in the oven".. no, I am not pregnant.
Why cant people just say pregnant, that is the medical term, is it not?  Whats with wanting to compare you growing uterus to a jar of pasta sauce?  I really do not understand that term.  Pregnant women are a bit odd.  Was I really that dense?  Surely not.  Back to me.
I have forgotten all about the woes to be pregnant... after all, my boys are 9 and 7 years.
That is, until someone invented the black hole I like to call social media.
Now, not only do I know of 3 girls that are "prego", 4 more have recently gave birth to their jar of pasta sauce.  Good for them, that is great. Really.    Deep down I really could care less about all their troubles, the food cravings, the belly aches, the back pain, the whatever is wrong with them on that certain day.  Really, good for you.
The problem I have is that I read/ see/ hear about it constantly.  One girl even complained because she could not get another piercing because she was "prego"... oh, boo hoo hoo. I am so very devastated for you, not.  Again, Really?? Your going to complain about that? 
Let me tell you about my problems.
I had my sons relatively easy.  Bam, nothing wrong in that department.  In fact, during my past marriage, we had decided we did not want more children.  Two were enough,   by we, I really mean, my ex husband.  I was on a certain type of no little human control... I had that removed roughly 2 years afterwards.  Shortly after that, my ex husband left.  No worries, there were pills for that sort of thing.  I took the pills, until I met and married my wonderful husband.  He did not have any biological children, I wanted more, so no pills, no nothing, just exploring.  Here I am almost 3 years later.  Rounds of fertility medications.  Numerous trips to the doctors, tests, more tests, and even a surgery.  Still not pregnant.  My youngest told me last night that maybe I was meant to just have him and his brother.  Perhaps he is correct.  If that happens to be the Creators plan than okay.  But why do I have this urge to mother another child?  Why does my body not work properly?  Why all these questions?
And surely, Why on Earth do I have to listen to others grip and complain about  being "prego" or having a screaming infant.  If they did not want this, why do the act that causes the condition?  I rather not have to listen to others complain about something I have longed for these last 3 years.  

Woe to me.
On the brighter note, if you happen to be one of these people, there are lots of lovely yarns out there to make up little human clothing and accessories.  
I personally like bumble bee, Vanna white, ilty, and red heart with love.  Then again, there is the lovely world of cotton, which is great because of its wash ability.  Everyone knows that little humans make alot of messes.  Mine sure do.  

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